A Loneliness Epidemic

Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Matthew 28:20 NLT

In our high-tech world, it seems we spend more time with our phones than the people right next to us.  Sociologists and health experts trace this epidemic back to changes to the community social structures in the mid and late 20^th century and the rise of digital technology. Mass adoption of smart phones and the 2020 COVID pandemic did not help.  

If this sounds familiar, I spoke more in depth on the sociological angle at the kick of for Lost, Found & Transformed, a transcript of which was posted to this blog.  Here are some different thoughts on this same topic.

In Matthew 28:20, Christ reminds the disciples of His commands, but reminds them that he is with them always.  As we discuss loneliness, the thought of never being along because our God, our higher power is always with us, is a comfort, but humans are like sheep and do better in a herd.  In fact, if you read all of Matthew 28, you realize that the resurrected Christ is revealed first to the women disciples and then to the rest of the disciples, that this is the human community of first Christians.

They were the rag-tag community of followers of Christ. After the crucifixion they huddled together, were frightened, scared, and confused together.  Judas, in his lone act of betrayal was lost forever. These are the first days of a Christian community, and one where there was doubt as to where “physically” and probably spiritually their Lord was! They felt the nothingness of Jesus’ empty place in their rooms and hearts.

Of the two on the cross next to Christ, one was promised to be with Him in paradise. The other thief was not spoken to, and it is in that nothingness, away-ness from Christ that true death lies. But this chapter is not only about the connection to a God who has promised to know our names, but a message of human togetherness, that has been lost in our contemporary world.

Today our addictions to our phones, to our work, to our business that keeps us most importantly from God, but we also miss the connections to other like-minded people on earth.  We’ve all, myself included, formed habits that further the loneliness epidemic.

Key take aways and challenges:

1.      Put down your phone. Make some house/personal rules to put the phone down and engage with the people in your home, neighborhood or work.  Change the phone in hand paradigm.  Do it for a day, two, a week and month and see what happens.

2.      Make kind small talk and simple connections that may build to something more. Small acts of kindness go a long way; do this by making conversation with the teller at the store, engage with your office mates, if you work remote, send a good morning teams chat, or give a kind word to those who share your bus or train commute.

3.      Join something. Yes, I write from my church home, “Living Waters” in Crystal Lake Illinois and yes, if you are in the area we’d love for you to come worship with us. BUT that may not be right for you right now, it may never be right for you, but what is? Could you take a beginning pickle ball course? Join a book club? A bowling or golf league?  Find a different church or volunteer somewhere.  Go find your people! (Face-to-Face)

PS – As I write these challenges, I want to make it clear that I too struggle with this. What part? All of it! My phone is literally the key that gets me into work, the gym, computer authentication, flights, tickets, well everything. I’ve had small panic attacks when I think I’ve misplaced the thing. And being and introvert, I struggle, but push my self to do the face-to-face stuff. I am continually challenging myself too!