Real Prayer – What is real anyway?
- 3 days ago
- 2 min read
For a long time, I’ve struggled with prayer. I absolutely have been lost to our God and then contently found, just to be lost and found again. Prayer has helped me at my lowest (lost) and highest (found) moments.
My prayer practice surely demonstrates this dynamic and so do my doubts around my prayerful activities, including starting Lost, Found & Transformed.
As the obvious jumble of thoughts pour out on this page, I am full again with self-doubt. What am I doing trying to write a weekly (gulp) short message? Who am I to do this? What do I know? And what can I possibly contribute to an already diluted field of voices? I’m so very unworthy!
Breathe in, breathe out, and repeat. (And pray!)
Then the urge to write is back, as is my prayer. Is it a calling? And I think, that I AM NOT ALONE as I sit with doubt. And I come back to the fact that we have all been and are Lost and Found in Christ. And that it is prayer, a conversation with God that puts all things right. I pray and my very heart, soul, breath is lighter, more at peace.
All through prayer? Yes! Exactly! Aren’t we all on a journey of transformation? But to what and where? Each one of us, and for God, has surely has our own journey.
Every human on this planet is in some state along the lost and found continuum, either in a relationship with Christ or not knowing Him at all. But in this, perhaps I am among the lucky, to have, though a struggling relationship (with prayer!), known in my soul that no matter how fickle my human heart feels on any one particular day, that I am still a child of God. In that way I am found and miraculously God has continuously been there with me the entire time.
I am in a few days ending my 57th year hoping for a new transformation to do more for my God.
So, what about this prayer stuff? Do I pray? Yes! Am I doing it right? I honestly don’t know. Is there a right way to do it? Are knees and folded hands required? What if my mind drifts from the prayer to what I need to add to my grocery list?
Here is what I think, and yes, I may be 100% wrong, I think our God is like the friend or relation that is thrilled to hear from us. Our God rejoices when we connect with Him through community and prayer, no matter how perfectly imperfect that prayer may be!
So, it’s just you and the almighty chatting like old friends; what would you say, be grateful for, or ask today?
Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. Romans 12:12 NLT
Judy, thank you so much for sharing your heartfelt thoughts about your prayer journey. I think when we attend church, engage in life, "out there" we put on a mask. That "reads" we've got it all figured out, when for me at least, I am figuring things out as I go. What folks see in me is far different than my internal struggle journey. When we share like you have, I think it inspires others and let's others who have felt the same things know that they are not alone. And with prayer we are for sure never alone.
When I first started to pray, I had no idea what I was doing. When I was young and naïve, I prayed to God for "stuff"—toys I wanted, money, and sometimes I even prayed for revenge on my brother for picking on me. I didn't pray with sincerity because I didn't really know who God was. I imagined Him as a big man in the sky who only answered the prayers of those who were deserving.
As I grew older and realized my prayers for "stuff" weren't being answered, I slowly gave up. During my teenage years, I felt completely hopeless. I was deeply alone, and after my brother took his own life, I spiraled into a dark depression. I…